Tuesday, January 31, 2023

As Ever - Agha Shahid Ali


 (after Ahmad Faraz)

So I’ll regret it. But lead my heart to pain.
Return, if it is just to leave me again.

“Till death do us part.” Come for their sense of us, . . .
For Belief’s sake, let appearances remain.

Let YOU, at Elysian Fields, step off the streetcar—
so my sense of wonder’s made utterly plain.

Not for mine but for the world’s sake come back.
They ask why you left? To whom all must I explain?

I laughed when they said our time was running out—
I stirred the leaves in the tea I’d brewed to drain.

Break your pride, be the Consoler for once—
Bring roses, let my love-illusion remain.

An era’s passed since the luxury of tears—
Make me weep, Consoler, let blood know its rain.

From New York to Andalusia I searched for you—
Lorca, dazzled on your lips, is all of Spain.

“Time, like Love, wears a mask in this story.”
And Love? My blind spot. Piercing me to the brain.

Oh, that my head were waters, mine eyes a fountain
so that I might weep day and night for the slain.

Shouting your name till the last car had disappeared,
how I ran on the platform after your train.

To find her, ’round phantom-wrists I glue bangles—
What worlds she did not break when she left my lane!

Still beguiled with hopes of you, the heart is lit.
To put out this last candle, come, it burns in vain.

Thursday, August 11, 2022

from The Art of Stalking and Parallel Perception by Lujan Matus

Then the scene came to a rushing halt, in front of me was that man's crown of thorns, he lifted his head and looked at me calmly, "Take this vision back with you.  I have been incorrectly represented.  How can you bypass what you think you know?  It is a constant framework that humanity is caught within, and that which encircles us is like a crown of thorns.  Each time one attempts to intend beyond that structure the thorns bypass that intention to evolve by pointing it in an incorrect direction, away from the essential truth that needs to emerge. 

The sharpness of the thorns represents the pain of that misdirection and the blood trickling down the forehead is life lost. The intensity that can be intended is represented by the emptiness of the mind that receives information directly from the heart by way of it's formless receptivity."  

The scene shifted and now I was viewing the palms of his hands while the voice continued to describe what I was seeing.  "From here, where I am damaged, warmth and fullness pour out in an uncontrollable deluge and as a consequence the kindness that is held steadfast in this position is lost.  

When this point is pierced, the heart cannot even recognize itself for this wound represents the annihilation of love and truth between all men.  Without its strength, there can be no healing in the world nor true understanding. From these locations energy rushes to the center, to the chambers of one's heart." 

The scene shifted again and my attention went to his feet.  "Within the top arch of the foot, the substance of man is held upright. If this point is pierced, man's substance will collapse and invariably the strength of man will sink too low for him to realize he has fallen.  When the underside of the arch is damaged through the piercing from the top, the power of the kidneys is weakened where inspiration and lifeforce reside."  

Once more the scene shifted and I saw the left hand side of his body, which had been stricken.  "When the pancreas and spleen are damaged in this fashion the body cannot uphold true realization, that which erupts into the heart as pure knowing.  Instead what pours in is an incessant nagging which is recirculated by the misdirected intention that has been gripped by the thorns.  If the right hand side is pierced, where the liver resides, then the eyes will not see the truth of the future, nor know how to move towards that horizon. 

The unification of all these vital centers is to be strengthened, and the weaknesses are to be avoided.  For if these points are compromised, this will have a devastating effect on awareness."  With this last utterance, the scene vanished, and I was back in the tomb.  My focus went immediately to the man, and I realized that he was in excruciating pain.  I knew that he had been tortured and scalded with boiling oil.  He was looking at me with a deep sense of urgency.  He was so focused on what he needed to do, and what he wanted to communicate, that for him, it was more important than his impending death.  

He whispered softly, "Be pure of heart, and innocent within your intentions."



Sunday, April 5, 2020

Huichol Indian Tree Marriages ~ from Bill Plotkin

Our capacity for soulcentric romance can be deepened through a cultivated relationship to nature.  In some villages of the Huichol Indians of Mexico, before a young man or woman is considered ready for marriage, they 'wed' a tree for four years.  This initiatory rite, undertaken at about age fifteen, rests on the understanding that the chosen tree represents the initiate's own perfect partner, what the Huichols think of as the opposite hidden within.  The initiate regularly visits their tree and pours out their longing for 'the perfect love.' The young woman or man talks to their tree when happy or sad, when scared, angry or confused; they confide their losses and successes.

Through this relationship with their tree partner, young Huichols enter the depths of their own psyches, with the tree acting as the screen for projected hopes and fears associated with joining with another person.  They cultivate this relationship for four years, an appropriate duration for a beginning marriage with the self.

~Quoted from Soulcraft

Monday, July 14, 2014

My Sweetheart Wants to Walk Goats

1-      My Sweetheart Wants to Walk Goats
We all wonder in these days what we should do.  My sweetheart wants to walk goats.  By walking goats, I mean that she intends to spend most of her time in the Northern California wilderness, walking from homestead to homestead with goats and a few companions and tend stands of wild vegetables along the way.  They would harvest seasonal vegetables for food, medicine, cordage & basket making material.  Milking the goats at least once a day, they would walk for a week or two, make a larger camp, where they would choose and slaughter a goat, process the meat & hide, make goat cheese, dry goat meat and so on.  To many, this may sound like a ludicrous endeavor, but I wish to speak to it in very practical and very political terms.
2-      Arhats & Bodhisattvas
 We all wonder what we should do.  In the Buddhist lexicon, there are two general styles in the path to enlightenment.  One is the path of the Arhat, where one chooses not to directly engage with members of society or even a spiritual community necessarily, in favor of allowing people themselves to best be the guides to their own enlightenment.  An Arhat is not removed from human interaction entirely.  If they are asked questions, they offer the best insight they can, and they then continue on.  The path of the Bodhisattva has at its core the desire to be of benefit to other human beings, and to allow this assistance to be the path upon which one travels to enlightenment.  At the center of both practices is the need for skillful means, a need for acting appropriately in situations.  The question becomes, 'what is appropriate for individuals in society, and can we, the generally unenlightened, ever truly help other people without imposing upon them our sense of duty, justice or will?'  The degree to which one is engaged or removed from a society can define whether one chooses to walk goats or chooses to do community-engaged urban farming, as two relative and personal examples.  Both are in a sense political, in that they are seeking to redefine how individuals relate to their landbase and their food, but both have very different implications for the arts of living and one's involvement with a larger community of beings.  One impacts exclusively, or nearly exclusively, human communities.  Urban farming is a wonderful way to educate people about the disconnection they have from their food and, coincidentally, their environment.  The environment sounds like an abstract term, but when we speak of familiarity with landbase, what we really mean is the trees you've marveled at, or the wonder you've felt by a running stream, so clear and clean you can drink from it, a freedom many of our ancestors held as a daily ritual.    Tending stands of wild vegetables may sound ineffective, but it is a way of directly supporting the landbase, or, to put it in terms of popular rhetoric, it is very directly being the change one wishes to see in the world.  It is a personal solution, but it is also a withdrawal from a way of life that is in dire straits.
To be frank, we are at a point of significant spiritual crisis, heretofore unknown in the history of humanity.  That is a lot to say in one sentence, but let me put it this way: there is a profound level of discontinuity between many people who are using many of the earth’s resources, and the understanding of the abundance, or not, of those resources themselves.  Again, put simply, we’re running out of many of our most basic resources for the sustenance of biotic life on the planet.  Topsoil, fresh water, ecosystems, mountaintops are all being eroded or destroyed at speeds that paralyze the imagination.  What do we, collectively or individually, do about it?  Do we try to educate a populace that is ensnared in the demonic dreams of self-importance that posit that no species exist save the human species?  Do we try to dispel the imagination of those in power, or those without power, to attempt to convince or suggest that the way of living as practiced these days is nowhere near what will best keep trees and rivers and salmon and eagles and ospreys around for another 50 years?  Do we write off a society that many of us hardly believed in to begin with and walk goats?  Do we plan attempts of restitution on behalf of the natural world; do we educate each other on the need to remove dams from rivers?  To stop clear-cuts in the United States, in Indonesia, in Burma, in the Amazon, in any number of other places where the vital, wild areas and native people are being irreparably destroyed?  Do we attempt to mitigate the destruction by passing a few laws to curb the ruthless and immoderate appetites of capitalism?  Do we walk away from all social obligations, as such, choosing the company of trees and rivers, in order to better define what is necessary and what is most helpful for ourselves, and the community of birds and fish and trees and shadows and whispers and elk?
These questions pit the individual practitioner against the overarching power structures of society, oftentimes, but they are necessary in these days, when so much is being redefined and commodified at such rapid speed.  When defense of the wilderness is viewed as anti-commerce, and larger religions have necessarily defined themselves as allied with commerce, it follows that only the individuals can stand up for the wilderness, until the time that the major religions define themselves as both in concert with the natural world and, in so doing, against the will of capitalism.
To speak of the need of defense for the wilderness and its relation to Buddhism, many mystical religions have primal need for wild places.  Buddha was in the jungle for six years.  Jesus' days in the desert and Mohammad's retreat to caves speak to this need as well.  These practices draw strength and insight from the wilderness.  But then, in Buddhist terms, why is the line of karma's interconnection so often drawn between the humans and other species?  If we do share an obligation of the Bodhisattva to benefit all beings, and these beings include non-humans, don't we need to immediately and irascibly defend natural spaces? Do we not need to immediately dismantle all state and corporate institutions which dominate the landscape?  Why have there been so very few defenders of the wilderness from the Christian community, the Islamic, the Buddhist?  
3-      The death wish
We all wonder what we should do.  My sweetheart wants to walk goats.  She wants to renew the landscape and not be a part of a suicidal, ecocidal machine, or if she is a part of it, she wants that interaction to be entirely on her own terms, within her own power and not to lessen any ounce of her wild spirit.  I can’t say that she shouldn’t go, and I can’t say I want to join her.  Not just yet.  This brings about a political and personal question; how much of any of our involvements in social activism have to do with us individually trying to reconcile our own past traumas experienced in the course of political engagement?  I wonder how much of my own past I am attempting to exorcise when I speak to a police officer about fulfilling their duty to actually protect and serve the populace of a city, and not just the landowners of a municipality.  That I ask them to question why they are being asked to clear sidewalks or secure neighborhood gardens with threat of force, when these places should be public spaces, not demarcated for private profit, when these places are in such genuine need for the people.  Are the police protecting only profit, either individual or communal?  If so, are they acting in accord with their own conscience?  What bizarre point in the history of the nation we are at when police are necessitated to enforce laws, in some instances, solely to raise money for their own viability, and that, by working so, they are enforcing laws to ensure the private profitability of the criminalization of the citizenry they are vowed to protect?
In many sections of the world, police and military have stood up against injustice, proclaiming that there is no line between cop and citizen, that we are all citizens and deserve equal respect.  Could such noble principles be present among the police in the industrialized world?  Will the cops lay down their guns and pick up shovels to help communities grow food for those who lack decent nourishment?  
This culture is infatuated with death, though it does everything it can to avoid it.  Superstars never age and these days, with endless facsimiles of past realities flashed into people's eyes, superstars never die either.  This is a worrying predicament for a society that is on the brink of self-asphyxiation.   We, as a species, are undermining the earth’s ability to support biotic life.  This is not hyperbole, this is the fundamental reality of our age, and our response to it will define whether we flourish as a species, or become a grand and brief flame in the history of our planet.   
There are so many tales of how this will happen; with terrorism, with disease, with famine, with climate change, even with alien invasion.  People have, for a long time, perhaps forever, wanted to both know where they were going, and perhaps more curiously, have wanted to have the importance of feeling as though they are at the end of times.  Yet, in our days, we can see through the lens of science, that we are actually reaching the practical ends of our support here on earth, and we do not have the capability to travel to the nearest star, where we might find another blue gem to despoil.  Though climate change is in progress and we are certainly already feeling the effects, we also have 10,000 years of agriculture to tend with as we attempt to rebalance our imaginations towards the genuinely sustainable.  The rules the planet has operated under for the last 10,000 years are being rewritten now, and the earth herself is treating the human species like any being with a virus.
Does it not make sense that in such a twisted environment, where relationships, towards oneself, with others, to be in companionship with the environment, are generally viewed as liability, does it not make sense that the response to that would be the leering culture that has death as a theme park attraction and, to speak personally, why is it that even leaving the death culture itself feels like a form of dying?
4- Agriculture as pathology
My sweetheart wants to walk goats.  Agriculture is a broad term, and when I use that term, I mean a practice that generally displaces people from their connection with land.  This has been so internalized in the current age that connection with land is seen either as a frivolity or as a sense of backwardness.  When I use the term agriculture, I mean a practice that deforests an area, the same practices that built ancient civilizations in Mohenjo-Daro & Mesopotamia, built those civilizations, and also caused their collapse.  When I use the term agriculture, I mean a practice that needs to build walls, because centralized, monocrop agriculture causes surplus, surplus that needs to be stored.  When I use the term agriculture, I mean a practice that raises armies, like the wheat it sows, pathologically identical in appearance, raises armies and allows its citizens to kill in war, and asks these same humans to return to ordinary lives of peace afterward.  When I use the term agriculture, I mean a practice that is willful in its use of slaves, often of conquered people from conquered lands, for rational human beings do not generally wish to overwork themselves in the abhorrent way this culture demands, and would be much happier, indeed as the prosperous are these days, to spend deeper time with friends and in nature.  When the rich are the only persons who can afford to visit the existing wild areas, it’s worth asking ourselves what sort of society we are creating.  The average Indian in the Americas worked an average 2 hours a day to provide for their needs.  These hours of 'work' were often accompanied by stories and songs and ceremonies. 
My sweetheart wants to walk goats and to practice a style of 'agriculture', which is closer to harvesting and tending natural areas of bounty.  She wants to ensure that her efforts are assisting the natural world directly to recover from the damage of 200+ years of colonization in California.  She generally does not wish to sign petitions, generally does not attend protests, but has fervent political beliefs.  Do we check-out of a system that seems to force us too often to act like a person in a codependent relationship, making excuses for ugly behavior, expecting change, when no, or pitifully little change is apparent?  I categorize clearcuts as ugly behavior.  I categorize mountaintop coal removal as ugly behavior.  I categorize tar sands oil mining as ugly behavior.  I categorize fracking as ugly behavior.  And my reasons for doing so are in part political, but mostly, they are practical.  If we keep destroying landscapes, are we not hurrying along the day of our own extinction?  After ingesting so many lies of technology 'making things easier for us', we have yet to realize that technology, as it is currently performed, is a pusher, a snake-oil salesman wanting to get an entire citizenry hooked on electricity, while the ability to support life is slowly and irrevocably eroded under our feet.  There are ways in which the Bodhisattva's tribute and effort begin to look more like codependent enabling, and the modern human positivity movements like turning a blind eye to injustice while reaping the rewards of enslaved peoples.  Modern agriculture as practiced displaces human beings from their land in 'the global south', as well as in the global north, and then enslaves those same individuals solely as instruments of commerce.
During the Buddha's lifetime, Mohenjo-Daro had already come and gone as a civilization.  Theirs had walls, running water, heated pools, annual crops, granaries, all the signs of civilization present in the contemporaneous Mesopotamian culture.  Both civilizations had deforestation as a defining characteristic and, as Icarus's descent, both civilizations were brought back to earth when they had to 'domesticate' lands further and further away from where the people were concentrated.  Can we draw a line showing geometrically the distance of a human from their food, the level of abstraction of the natural world, other humans, the level of coterminal violence that is acceptable in the forms of overt and covert slavery, overt and covert oppression, of women, of those of a different skin color, of those of a different way of seeing?  Did the Buddha hear of Mohenjo-Daro, a locus of civilization that had failed to support the upwards of 35,000 citizens who lived there at its height?  Did he sense or see that over-reaching grasp, the society straining against that by which it had to define itself  and had told itself it could not do without?  Did he see, foresee, the inevitable rise of cities, of what's called modernity, with over half the world's 7 billion people living now in cities and nearly all surrounding environments so far depleted as to resemble ghost deserts where no birds, and scarce a human heart is bold enough to take up residence?  We are told by the demon-dust pushers that only the human economy must be serviced, at the expense always of the natural world.  But the world can function perfectly fine without the human economy, and can in fact thrive without it.  We cannot exist without the natural world, and everyone who is eager to say we can still eats, likely, several times a day, eats the food that still comes from the life-systems of the earth, still breathes the air offered by trees, by kelp, by phytoplankton, still is held, in the same way we all were, in the beginning, in the darkness, before we breathed the oxygen of this realm for the first time. 
  5 - The sky-clear flame
My sweetheart wants to walk goats.  There are questions of tactics, of what we choose to do with a life.  Within the Buddhist lineages there are many stories of creatures sacrificing their sense of self-cherishing in order to perform karmic feats.  In our modern time, such feats seem the realm exclusively of the mentally unstable.  Yet, within a society, if individuals begin to truly understand that the human species is wearing out its welcome, that it is operating beyond its means, and being sold further and further methods of addiction by a pimp uninterested in our individual, collective or cross-species health, then would it not follow that individuals would wish to radically alter or abolish such a system?  The other day a friend of mine and I agreed to stop calling whatever was happening currently 'revolution'.  I'd prefer not even to use terms that have gone around lately in its stead, '(r)evolution', or even the more poetic 'lovelucion', and prefer instead 'metamorphosis'.  Interpersonally, the 20th century, or the 19th for that matter were very good for the 'poor' of the planet.  Many were forced from their homes, some by gun-point, but more were forced by the point of debt and official government policies.  Is this the past that we are responding to in order to form the future?  Must we not form something that does not resemble the genocides and ecocides of the 20th century, but something that looks and feels far different?  
For if we are at a point of extreme sickness, as fracking, mountain top coal removal, tar sands oil removal, 2 mile long, 1 mile deep ocean trawlers destroying millions of years of growth in coral reefs indicate, then must we not then consider something, a state of interaction, of association, of society, which acknowledges these wrongs, but is not controlled by them?  If we respond merely to the problems of industrial capitalism, we'll receive a lot of work to perform, but I personally get the sense that what is necessary is something, a way of being, as to be unrecognizable by most of us.  This way of being is not ethereal, but rooted deeply in the earth, is not vague and does not waver.  It senses what the earth can provide and sustain and operates in accordance to that exclusively.  We are unable to inherit the bounty of billions of years of cumulative evolution of our ancestors, and the large leap forward presented by GMO and biotechnology are gross manifestations of the arrogance of the human species in assuming that we have all the answers.  There are reasons that nature took billions of years to sort out different organisms.  Evolution is a slow and stupid process for the most part, but it generally does have one thing going for it: it provides a minimum of disruption to ecosystems.  I find it hard to believe that by making further leaps into uncharted territories of genomes, gene-splicing, etc, we will not create further imbalances that will, like the wrecked ecosystems of wetlands, of mountains, of forests, of rivers, of seas, need to be contended with, if not right now, at some point in the not very distant future.
I spoke with another friend last night about righteousness.  We had just watched a moving performance of music and dance about fracking.  I said that I worried about the sky-clear righteousness that it is easy to feel when one studies the environmental catastrophe we have inherited, and begin to parse together the biologic bounty that has been utterly squandered within an eyeblink of geologic time.  There are plenty of reasons to get upset, but response is again something that becomes far more difficult to ascertain.  Do we walk goats?  Tend stands of wild vegetables?  Renew the landscape in a tiny way, knowing that as civilization begins to crumble, one is building not merely quaint skills, but ones that could be practically useful for survival, genuine survival, and not just for one, but for many?  Is this the path of the Arhat, to be removed from society to care for the later generations, to care for the seekers one meets on the solitary path?  To care for the creatures, the 'least' among us, as Jesus and St. Francis preached?  Is it the path of the Bodhisattva, to walk away from a society which is plainly so tone-deaf that it can't hear the planet wailing in pain?  I distrust my righteousness, and there are many times it is difficult to quell indignation when one realizes that another day has passed, and the forces of destruction have cut down many more trees, slurried many more sides of mountains, slashed many more forests, put more duress on many more people.
At a time when we are approaching the end of rapidly available energy, with many technologies in the works, but none, I repeat, none, able to power the engines of modern technology with the same flexibility as liquid oil, it make sense to ask what we learn from our days.  If my sweetheart walks goats, she practices each day the knowledge of which plants are safe, how to keep other animals well cared for, how to receive from nature what is offered.  The machine culture will continue for quite a little while, and those who swear allegiance to it will be fed and clothed commensurate with their level of belief in the system.  Violence will become more widespread, people the world over will continue rioting over food, armies will be called out and everyone who has a conscience or a soul will have to ask what is going on, and how much they really believe in a system that is more willing to shoot someone than to feed them.  If society continues as it is headed, towards militarism and fear, we, the caring hearts, weary worn with grief from losses, will be offered, as the Indians before us, smaller and smaller areas within the society at large, and we will at some point need to walk away from the death culture to spare ourselves the cruelty and passive brutality that they conjure and coerce so many of our brothers and sisters with.
I don't intend to swear allegiance to this dying system; rather, I intend to offer my companionship to nature, to the natural processes that take a long, long time to learn, a long, long time listening in order to better listen.
 6 - Saint Jude, the patron saint of lost causes
For much of human history, it seems we've been astonished and thrilled and inspired by stories of the underdog.  People root for the doomed Trojans, some for the 'doomed noble savages' of North America.  For some of us, the underdogs were not pushed back in grand battles, but in wave after successive wave told in the conqueror's language as progress.  We lost many many ancient trees here in California, cut down by the brief hands of man.  The redwoods went to buildings and mines, many of which have now, at least partly, returned to the earth.  Many massive sequoia were felled for no more human use than toothpicks.  We lost many people, and many many languages, many ways of seeing.  In learning the less-told histories of this land, we learn that the magic songs which coaxed rivers to flow and the sun to shine, are almost entirely absent from the human creature these days.  We learn in this learning the learning of loss.  We root for the underdogs, and the more one studies the language of the land, the more one roots for the little that has escaped co-optation, homogenization, the diseases of sameness.
For a moment, what of the colonizers and colonized? Once we feel the grief of being callously or kindly crushed, as a soldier or a missionary seeks to unutterably alter what they fail to see, what to them appears as narrowness is in fact belief in how Mother Earth embraces life, and to date, has tolerated the indulgence and arrogance of some of us humans who didn't have the good sense to disagree with a situation that didn't ennoble their heart, but paid in dollars instead.  It's a human sadness, of how the colonizers and the colonized were coerced so thoroughly, of how the modern magicians wooed the senses with chemicals, with lights and motion, how they covered the stars at night, dammed the flowing rivers or filled the air with the burned breath of ancient plants.
On the subject of resistance, principally modern resistance, three countries have had series of non-violent uprisings in the last few years in order to gain liberation from their oppression.  Tibet, Burma and Kashmir, all three had some form of violent government who seized power from the people, disallowed what passes for democracy these days, and, essentially, paid young people, mostly men, to move to a place as soldiers and brutalize native people from that land, people from a different perspective.  Modern colonialism happens directly in these places, even if it does not make much news in America.  Each of these countries, as I said, have held non-violent uprisings, mostly led by their religious leaders, monks in the case of Tibet & Burma, and the Muslim clergy in Kashmir.  None of  these countries have yet achieved autonomy, let alone independence, and their stories often languish on the back pages of news magazines, achieving the attention of the wider world only when a great many people are killed.  Is this actually the world in which we would aspire to live? 
I bring this up to directly question the efficacy of non-violent resistance in a time of ongoing global decimation of people and culture.  In what passes for the environmental movement in America, or even within the larger struggles for social justice, it is often posited that what is needed is not more radical tactics, but more people.  Individuals are asked to attend protests and encourage others to do the same, with the height of dissent being a symbolic act of non-violent direct action, namely risking or getting arrested.  If our success is merely based on numbers, and not on actual results, I fear that we will lose sight of the fact that the environment is being willfully eroded at an enormous rate, and that merely getting more people signed up, or signing on will not be the difference that the planet needs to continue the experiment of biotic life.  Over a thousand people were arrested in the summer of 2011 during the Keystone XL pipeline protests.  Certainly more people know about the Keystone XL pipeline, now over two years on, but we are also now over two years after the protests, and the Keystone XL is still up for discussion, and every day of those two years the tar sands have been grinding up the forests of Canada without relent or mercy.  We mistake gaining public support for actual efficacy if we deem awareness equal to resistance in this case. The same was exemplified during the second invasion of Iraq, primarily by the United States, in 2003, for which an estimated 36 million people protested for a single, clear objective: to stop the invasion of Iraq.
We ask questions of lost causes.  If suffering is a predecessor to statehood, do not Kashmir, Tibet & Burma deserve statehood?  I don't think that it’s appropriate to invoke indifference. Cynicism is the slick soil whereby oceans are set on fire.  If we believe in lost causes, if we believe people have the right to live without outright oppression, then perhaps we begin to believe in that other lost cause.  Perhaps we begin to believe that the ways of inhabiting the world that were thought to have died out are in fact alive and barely surviving, that the means of biotic support on the planet are actually in need of our assistance, that the human species is in fact quite possibly the largest lost cause we have been offered to date. 
Do we believe that humans can garner enough courage, perhaps this time not from technology, but from the natural world, where people have always drawn courage?  Enough courage to change the little things, and change the big things, to live a life worth living, to dream dreams worth dreaming?  To love people worth loving, or cry for things worth crying about, or grieve for the things worth grieving for?  To love, to grieve and to dream about the things that actually give us life, that have always supported us, and are waiting, ever so patiently, for us to once again realize our place in the natural world, one of many, those things waiting for us, ever so tenderly, to come home?  In coming home, we realize that we have many tasks for our hands, for our hearts, and that those tasks have been offered to us now, at our present moment, to help us, once again, to understand our place.

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

The Dragonfly

`The Dragonfly

A dragonfly begins life as an egg laid in water.   They grow and molt changing forms gradually in a process known as 'incomplete metamorphosis'.   Dragonflies molt eight to fifteen times, but spend a majority of their lives with gills on their rectum, sometimes for several years, feeding and living underwater.

~

Begin sitting down, with your knees bent and the soles of your feet resting on the ground.   Place your right shin on your left knee.   Twist to the left and dip your right elbow into the middle arch of your right foot.   Twist gently.   If you still can, dip your left hand, placing both palms flat on the ground.   If you still can, tip towards your hands, your right foot on your right elbow or upper arm.   When we encounter difficulties, we usually hold our breath.  Remember to breathe.   If you still have room, lean to the side and balance on your hands, extend your left leg, parallel to the ground.   You are flying.   You are weightless.   Breathe, and balance, and breathe.

~

Walking east of Summit Lake, in mid-autumn, lively insects cross your path, wily-nily.   A small bee nibbles the skin on the top of your hand and since you haven't said a word out loud for several days you let it.   It keeps nibbling.   It flies close to your eyes, batting your eyelashes with its beating wings, nestling into the bridge of your nose, and then nibbling the inside ball of the eye, the lesser twin to the eyeball, that thing you never thought had a name, that you now know is called caruncula.

~

East of Summit Lake, midautumn, lively insects cross your path wily-nily.   A sudden, golden dragonfly, black striped, speeds sideways, hovers above water, speeds sideways again.   You pause, your eyes, in all their motion, flicker and follow.   You cannot tell if wonder is holding you still, or if marvel has stilled your lungs with water.   Its flight forked lightning, swimming, slicing of air.   Its globes of eyes, the 30,000 ways of seeing in all directions and several realms of color unvisible to humans, seem to center on you, human, as it now buzzes to you and hovers, its four wings gathered sunlight holding it aloft, beating wind that ripples off its face facing you.   And you wonder.   You marvel.   The dragonfly leaves, zooms up and East, which is the way your feet are headed, the way you must leave.

~

In the Lower 9th Ward, in New Orleans, your body was pushed through several forms.   When you went back there you wept, nearly.  Covered in a white sheet, the Claiborne Bridge, that night where your hand dusted the brakes and shouldn't've, where mist met metal and stole your lover's left knee, your left elbow, is now your wreckage being painted, not repaired, in the late season sun and warmth, not heat.   By the Industrial Canal, you can see something small struggling.   You stop and look, a brown dragonfly wriggling on the bike path.    It is delicate, its wings beat erratically.   It looks like its dying.   You hold it in your hands, it flies slightly, you catch it, it calms, feeling the soft moistness of your palm.   You do not wish for it to die alone.  You carry it til its movements turn shallow and then vanish.   A friend says that maybe its not dying, but changing.   Maybe it needs to breathe the wild.   So you find a bush and set the dragonfly to rest underneath, near the ringed wattles of an abandoned sparrow's nest.

~

Twisted in the dragonfly pose, Judy balanced on hands as though the human sweat of the yoga class, the beating wings of lungs, lifted us into bright new form.   When I asked what she knew about dragonflies, her look deepened to crisp pools of iridescent light.   The Hopi and Pueblo peoples hold dragonfly as a protector, a medicine spirit, who helps humans heal from the wounds of this world.   She spoke of how on the day her mother died, a dragonfly landed on her, soft and visible, and near through tears.

~

And when Brooke heard about the dragonflies of this poem, she shared the story of her aunt, and how she had had a son who chose suicide when he was 23. She said he had gained the balance of four wings, and had become dragonfly, and then had the strength to visit her everyday.

~

When I walked back to the sparrow's nest, the late autumn bayou afternoon heat was close as i talked with Thomas. He had helped me open to New Orleans, helped me listen to marigolds, to dance the unbound waterbeaded sunlight, our throat-notes sounds and skins of sweet sadness, sweet joy.   I returned to the sparrow's nest and there was nothing.   Had it flown away, was it eaten, or did it pass onward, into air? Sometimes you get answers, sometimes, and sometimes it's late in the day, you hear the voice of a friend calling to you, and all you can do is turn your feet towards the dusk and start the long walk back west.

~~~~~~~~~~~~


Tuesday, April 15, 2014

David Foster Wallace - on Franz Kafka's ;funniness' and teaching that to students


"And it is this, I think, that makes Kafka's wit inaccessible to children whom our culture has trained to see jokes as entertainment and entertainment as reassurance.  It's not that students don't "get" kafka's humor, but that we've taught them to see humor as something you get--the same way we've taught them that a self is something you just have.  No wonder they cannot appreciate the really central Kafka joke--that the horrific struggle to establish a human self results in a self whose humanity is inescapable from that horrific struggle.  That our endless and impossible journey toward home is in fact our home.  It's hard to put into words up at the blackboard, believe me.  You can tell them that maybe it's good they don't "get" Kafka.  You can ask them to imagine his art as a kind of door.  To envision us readers coming up and pounding on this door, pounding and pounding, not just wanting admission but needing it, we don't know what it is but we can feel it, this total desperation to enter, pounding and pushing and kicking, etc.  That, finally, the door opens...and it opens outward: we've been inside what we wanted all along.  Das ist komisch."

http://cliffordglee.com/Site/EXSupplementalReadings_files/DFWALLACEONKAFKA.pdf

Friday, April 4, 2014

Outcasts, from The Ohlone Way

following from the seminal work of Malcolm Margolin, The Ohlone Way:

To be sure, there were a few people among the Ohlone who did not fit in--people who were felt to be greedy or aggressive.  They generally lived on the outskirts of the village or sometimes across the stream, shunned and sneered at by the rest of the people.  If a person's manners were completely unbearable--say, if he was a bully or a murderer--his family might ultimately desert him; and once deserted, the other people of the community might assault him or drive him from the village area entirely to live as an outcast.  Such a person would survive as best he could, without friends, without anyone to help him when he was sick or old, without anyone to protect him from evil shamans and malignant spirits who would instantly recognize his vulnerability.  He would lead a lonely, impoverished, and frightened life, an object of distaste to the whole tribelet and a lesson in morality to youngsters.

Such outcasts, however, were rare, and the Ohlone ethic of sharing worked to the satisfaction of almost everyone.  The poor, the weak, and the elderly were taken care of.  Even lazy or incompetent people were fed and housed--for they too had relatives.  IN fact, the way of sharing worked so well that, as several early visitors remarked, there was absolutely no robbery among the Ohlones--this despite the fact that, as la Perouse put it, "they have no other door than a truss of straw laid under the entrance when all the family are absent."  Stealing was simply unnecessary ina  land so varied and fruitful and among a people so generous.

Shraring was the underlying element in the Ohlones' economic system.  But sharing was much more than just economic.  Born into a tribelet of no more than one, two or three hundred people, the Ohlones felt very close to family and community.  They had no choice.  To be an Ohlone meant that one could not move away and start afresh somewhere else.  To be born into a certain family and bound to certain relatives and a certain triblelet--these were the major, totally inescapable facts of one's life.